I'm Officially Fried Chicken

Disclaimer: This post will make absolutely no sense. I'm a vegetable. Asparagus. Yeah, you don't like it that your pee smells funny, but I taste good and I'm long and lean. Eat me.

Updates

Workouts: Well that trainer that has been subbing for my regular one has some kind of anti-poultry thing. Or else she's a sadist. Or both. She told me after killer legs/abs workout tonight, "30 minutes on the treadmill." (Yay, easy stuff!) "Running."

Fuck that shit, I walked fast. Most of the time.

Budgets: I curse the American economy and the plight of the USD. My most-nights prayers have started to include interest rates and worry over the fact that by the end of 2008, some 28 million Americans will be using food stamps. I'm hungry for some bacon and eggs, by the way.

WoW: Of course you know there wouldn't be a few days (ahem, hours) go by that I wouldn't mention my progress on my mage. I leveled to 60 in 4 hours and got my fast mount. I also ran a rather ridiculous quest to get pig polymorphing but the thing is buggy, and I had to file a ticket. Who knows if I'll get the pigginess? I can't repeat the quest and now I'm pissed. Still, it was cool seeing all those dead sheep. God, I need some sleep!

Makeup/Skincare/My Other Obsession: Let's not mention there are three pairs of shoes still sitting in their boxes in the trunk of my car (I'm helping the economy, give me a break!). Now I've signed up to do some "market research" (i.e., I'm going to Barney's for their summer thingie and get my makeup done). There is a $105 serum I simply must have. I'm using food stamps. (Okay, SO not funny. VERY bad Chicken.)

Worry: Should I leave that food stamps joke in here? Will I end up on food stamps for doing so? Is that how karma works? Now I'll never be able to go to fucking sleep!

Profession: I have decided that in my next career move, I will go into the liquor business. No matter how bad the economy is, people still drink. In fact, because it's in the crapper, they are drinking more. No, this isn't some scientific statistical bullshit, it's my observation. Pour me a cocktail, honey...

Insomnia: It sucks. I can't get to sleep. I don't want to play WoW, I'm too tired to do crunches (but I really need to). I can't figure out how I ended up scoring 50% gay. I'm bothered by the fact I'm half-anything. Who wants to be 50 percent? It's all or nothing, babies! Half is for the birds.

Well, hell. I'm a chicken. That explains it.

Current Things Pissing Me Off

* I had an alarm system installed, mainly to make sure no one breaks in and hurts the babies while I am out of the house. Sadie cannot stand the beeping sound it makes when I enable it, so now she's taken to hiding in corners.

* If my Food Baby insists upon staying, why won't he contribute to the mortgage and utilities?

* I can't seem to get un-tired from the time change. Exercise is NOT helping, so don't suggest that or I'll peck your eyes out.

* I really want to shop more but I've shopped so much lately, there is nothing I need. And nothing I really want - not that I have room for. I guess I'll go shopping for the SPCA again.

* Why can't they make a calorie-free vodka? We put men on the moon, for fuck's sake!

* My idea of Employee Appreciation Day got out-voted. No one wants to go to Six Flags. Sigh.

* My mage isn't 70 yet.

* I have to meet my trainer tonight. And I feel like an Oompah Loompah.

* Why can't I get paid to play WoW all day? Isn't there a job like that somewhere? And I don't mean testing it, I mean just playing it.

* My stupid betta fish is boring and just sits in his bowl, staring. Had I known this is what they do, I would have bought a livelier fish.

* Did I mention the Food Baby?

So Long Salad Days...

...you crusty old hag! HELLO burritos and beer!

Well maybe some chardonnay. And a taco.

Sigh. My last day being in my 30s.


I'm going to go off to bed now and cry a bit...