God? Can You Please Give Her A Sleeping Pill?

Or hit her over the head with a stick? Please?

[Editorial note: I mean hit ME over the head with a stick, not the dog. I reread this today and thought, Yow! that sounds sooooo wrong!]

Well Sadie is sorta better but not really, I can tell she's in pain. She sleeps more than the average dog but is sleeping more than Sadie-usual. It is probably the codeine but it still makes me worry.

The boys (being Buzzy and Nico) are aware something's different and Buzzy, used to being the Momma's Boy, is not taking well to the attention I'm giving Sadie. Out of necessity, yes, and out of fear.

Fear. Shit. I have been afraid since February 2007 when I learned she had liver problems. My dogs are my "children" - I opted for the furry type - and I'm sick as hell that I haven't been able to get someone to "fix" this problem.

I pray (yes, I pray) that it isn't cancer. The thought alone makes me want to vomit. Makes me want to crawl under the covers and never come out. But I have to. They depend upon me. I have to be strong.

I just wish I could take her problems on as my own. If my liver could fit into her tiny body, I'd give it to her. I'd give any of them my left foot to be healthy. Only a few more days until I get the biopsy. I tend to expect the worst, hope for the best, and shoot down the middle. Save a prayer for Sadie tonight, tomorrow, whenever you read this.

PSA: Please get pet health insurance. NOW. I wish I had done so. I still have one without pre-existing conditions, I'm going to get him on insurance before it's too late.